Forget the finer points of business etiquette. Depending upon where you do business, with whom, and what kind, the intricacies of relational etiquette can require a survival guide, for sure. It can be a walk on a wire, learning cultures and context and communication. Never mind all that. Let’s keep things simple. In fact, let’s distill things down to two single-syllable words: Thank you.<\/p>\n
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Gratitude is a universally understood currency that can be easily exchanged, and is therefore extremely powerful. I’m not talking about keeping a journal with gold leaf edges and pretty pink pages. I’m not talking about the exchange of gifts, or the perfunctory thanks we offer for a kindness that barely registers on our personal Richter scale. I’m talking about acknowledging and validating those who do a real service, enhance your life experience, or who go out of their way to attempt to engage you in some other way besides an RT on Twitter. Now that I think of it, though, there’s nothing wrong with saying thank you for that, either.<\/p>\n
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It is appalling to me, not to mention incredibly hurtful and frustrating, how often we fail to recognize when someone is genuinely trying to reach out, to do a kindness, to be a friend, or to support another’s efforts, only to have that attempt met with silence. I spend a healthy portion of my day reaching out to those with whom I hope to build some sort of relationship, and whether you call that networking or sharing or promotion, there seems to be an abundant lack of understanding as to how this process works. If expressing gratitude makes you feel uncomfortable, then you are flat doing it wrong. All you need is a little less ego, and a little more listening, and then you’ll have it.<\/p>\n
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My view is that what all of us really want out of this life is to be acknowledged, affirmed and heard. That is my recipe for dishing out gratitude in heaping proportions . it goes like this:<\/p>\n
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"Thank you for your kind words earlier. I think what you wrote was amazing. In what way can I be of assistance?"<\/p>\n
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Then, stop talking. What you’ll likely hear is your own gratitude, mirrored back to you.<\/p>\n
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The problem with all of this is, until we all get it, many of our relationships can often feel one-sided. We take each other for granted, we just expect the other person will always be there to be our ‘fan," and we barely feel a need to say a special thank you for those who have affirmed us. After all, we’re fabulous, right? Who needs to say thank you when everything we do is wonderful? Wrong. How do you know you’re wrong? When you feel empty, disconnected, lonely, or wonder why, when there are so many people in your life, you still feel alone.<\/p>\n
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There are days when we might feel as though what we do is nothing more than a thankless exercise in futility. No one should feel that way. So, how can you change it? Well, you can start small. For example, instead of viewing the "comments" area on someone’s blog as an opportunity to be critical, think of it instead as a way of saying thank you to someone who is likely not receiving any compensation whatsoever for their expenditure of energy. Not everyone is a paid blogger, or has pages covered with lucrative ads. Some people blog for the love of it, for the joy of helping others. I know, I know…there is no such thing as altruism. that doesn’t make it okay, though, for anyone to be a self-centered, selfish egomaniac who feels a need to demonstrate his self-proclaimed superiority at another’s expense. Didn’t your mother tell you that if you don’t have anything nice to say, or at the very least, neutral or constructive, then don’t say anything? And no, this post is not being composed as a result of some angry diatribe left in the comments section. My readers have been nothing other than kind and generous in their support, for which I hope I have demonstrated sufficient gratitude.<\/p>\n
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One final word. When someone does say thank you, please say "you’re welcome," instead of something flip or glib. It is so irritating to me when I express my heartfelt gratitude to someone, only to get some clever little comeback as a response. If someone is taking the time to acknowledge you, return the favor in kind. I promise, it won’t hurt.<\/p>\n
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I would like to thank two gentlemen in particular who inspired this post, John Bodette (@Bearmugs)and Jonathan Mosen (@jonathanmosen), both of whom acknowledged something I said, affirmed me with a kind word, and accepted my gratitude with grace.<\/p>\n
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Forget the finer points of business etiquette. Depending upon where you do business, with whom, and what kind, the intricacies of relational etiquette can require…<\/p>\n