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Category: Random Ramblings

Cooking in the era of the Coronavirus: Tips for newbies

Published March 19, 2020 by L. Legendary

If you think of yourself as a pretty good cook, there’s probably nothing in this post for you, but there’s probably plenty you could contribute. In our current age of convenience, the abundance of prepared foods found in any grocery store makes feeding oneself, or a family, quick and easy. However, we are now entering the era of the Corona virus, and that means access to convenience foods may be limited. For the first time, you may find yourself without access to hot and fresh pizza appearing at your doorstep, fully cooked meals in a box, or timely grocery delivery. Suddenly, you may find yourself required to cook if you want to eat.

Earlier this week, I found myself tweeting out suggestions as to how to store foods, or what ingredients to use to stretch, or “bulk up”,a meal, or info as to how long certain food items can be stored. It occurred to me that a more comprehensive list might be helpful to my readers, most of whom have a disability, who find themselves cooking, perhaps for the first time. Below is a list of tips and suggestions on a variety of topics. I encourage all of you who think of yourselves as a kitchen whiz to contribute in the comments. The list that follows is by no means exhaustive, but we can all share what we know to help others in our community. Also, this is not a list fit for a prepper. I’m not talking about survivalism here, just offering tips for those of you who may be looking at a box of something in your cupboard and thinking: “Can I use this? “Is this still good?” ” Or, “How do I use this?” There are lots of things you can make with very few ingredients, and it’s always a good idea to have at least some of these items in your pantry, since they last (almost) indefinitely.

Stuff that lasts (almost) indefinitely, depending upon how it’s stored:*

Alcohol. Without comment as to how alcohol may be used to self-medicate, it lasts a long time and can be used for purposes other than over imbibing.

Apple Cider Vinegar and white vinegar: Can be used for making everything from salad dressings to barbeque sauce or marinades, to cleaning your bathroom.

Baking Soda: Don’t use the box you’ve had in your refrigerator for the past year when called for in a recipe. Have a couple of small boxes on hand for cooking, cleaning, and absorbing odors almost anywhere.

Bouillon Cubes: These are tiny little cubes of flavor that are a bit throwbackish, as they were once maligned for containing MSG. They are also very high in sodium, so while they keep well, if you have any special dietary requirements, you may want to use an alternative. One is mentioned below.

Cocoa: Both the hot chocolate powder and the pure cocoa powder. Lots of ways to use either for drinks or baking.

Corn Starch and corn meal: Both keep well when stored correctly, but note that they are not the same thing. You cannot make cornbread using cornstarch.

Corn Syrup: Used in place of sugar.

Dried Beans: Almost any variety, pinto, kidney, black beans, etc. can last for years when stored in a very dry place in an airtight container.

Ghee: A butter alternative, can be stored for long periods because of the way it’s processed. It’s packaged in a can.

Honey: Eventually, honey will harden or crystallize, but that doesn’t mean it’s gone bad. Just gently warm it up, or give it a good stir to reliquify it.

Instant Coffee: Hey, when you’re desperate for a caffeine fix, you’ll drink anything. This keeps a long time, just make sure you keep it sealed.

Powdered milk: Just add water.

Tea: Bags or loose, both will store a long time, keep it in an airtight container.

Maple Syrup: The high sugar content is what keeps maple syrup – the real thing, not the imitation – stable for a long time.

Pasta: Not variety specific. Spaghetti, rigatoni, fettuccini, whatever. Store it in an airtight container so it doesn’t attract bugs, and if it’s not old or packaged badly when you bring it home from the store, it will last for years.

Potato Flakes: Also called instant mashed potatoes. You might want to transfer these to an airtight container if you think you won’t use them for a while.

Ramen Noodles: There’s no telling what preservatives are used in those foil “flavor packets,” but in a pinch, they’ll fill you up, even if you’ve had them for years.

Rolled Oats, and to a lesser degree, instant oatmeal: Same packaging requirements as mentioned previously. Keep away from moisture, and store in an airtight container.

Salt: It’s a natural mineral from the Earth, and you may not need to worry about salt going bad, ever.

Soy Sauce: It has a lot of salt in it, which acts as a preservative, so that bottle you have in the door of your fridge from the one time last year you attempted to make an Asian dish is still good.

Sugar: Sugar really should be transferred to an airtight container, especially if you’ve opened the original box or package, since it attracts ants.

Vanilla Extract: The alcohol content is what makes this substance last a long time. Vanilla extract is an ingredient frequently called for in baking recipes, so it’s good to have on hand.

Rice, both white and brown: Stored properly rice can last a long time, although brown rice lasts only about 6 months, whereas white rice lasts much longer.

Spices: Spices are simply dried leaves or ground seeds, roots, or herbs. They will last for years in a sealed container, but note that the longer you have them, and the more you use them, the less pungent they become, due to exposure to air.

* Note that the vast majority of the ingredients above store much better if they are kept in a cool, dry place. Often, repackaging them into an airtight container will not only lengthen the storage life, but preserve the taste as well. Just be sure to use storage containers that are clean and dry, and have not been previously used for keeping something aromatic, as the smell can transfer.

Stuff you can use to easily make other stuff:

Bisquick baking mix: The original, all-purpose variety is the most versatile. Just add a liquid to a quantity of Bisquick, and you can make anything from muffins to dumplings to biscuits. You can also find a really convenient Bisquick pancake mix that comes in a pre-measured jug, with a mark as to where to fill with water. Simply add the liquid, water or milk or buttermilk, whatever the instructions suggest, and shake, shake, shake until blended. Then, just pour silver dollar sized dollops into the pan and cook as directed.

Self-rising corn meal: Making cornbread is pretty easy, but it’s even easier if you use a self-rising corn meal, because it eliminates an ingredient you may not have on hand – baking soda or baking powder.

Anything in a box by the Jiffy brand: While the cooking directions printed on the box may suggest you add milk, eggs, oil, or other ingredients, when I’ve been out of any of these, I’ve just used water, stirred, and cooked as directed. You may get muffins or cornbread with the dimensions of a hockey puck, but it tastes fine.

Canned tomato paste, or crushed tomatoes: Endless possibilities. Tomato paste usually comes in a tiny can, and usually costs less than a dollar, and because it’s condensed, one little can can result in a very nice quantity of soup base. Crushed tomatoes add heft to sauces or soups.

Better Than Bouillon: Soup is one of the best ways to get a whole lot of nutrition in a very simple meal. Better Than Bouillon is a brand of soup and meal base that is, in my opinion, and as the name suggests, better than bouillon cubes. You can get it in a low sodium, vegetarian, or vegan version, and there are many flavors. It’s economical, easy to store, and there’s almost nothing you cannot make with it.

Campbell’s tomato soup, condensed or not. Sometimes, when you need to change the taste of an otherwise bland dish, such as pasta or rice, adding a can of this soup can work wonders. Of course, it’s a great start to a soup stock, or, you know, a bowl of soup.

Frozen fruit and vegetables: Use your imagination. Veggies can be tossed into casseroles or stews, frozen fruit is great for smoothies, ice cream or oatmeal toppers, mixed drinks, or in cereal. Yum.

Great tools for people who don’t cook:

Stock pot: A big giant pot. Manufacturers often stamp the bottom of cookware with some info about capacity, so check to see if your pot is 4, 6, or 8 quart capacity, just FYI.

Slow cooker or Crock pot: Similar to a stock pot, except that these are electric and enable slow cooking.

Rice cooker: For those of you who insist you can’t boil water without burning it, a rice cooker will save your bacon. Or, in this case, rice.

Instant Pot: Which you’ve probably heard about, ad nauseam.

Bread machine: Surprisingly fun and easy to use, and really puts out a delicious loaf, while filling your home with a glorious baking bread aroma.

Stuff you may not have realized freezes really well:

Butter: Just leave it in the original packaging and toss it in the freezer.

Cheese, block or shredded: If you buy this in bulk, consider how much you usually use before storing. Cut the block of cheese into pieces and wrap tightly in plastic wrap before freezing. If you buy an 8 ounce package of shredded cheddar, toss the unopened package in the freezer, as is, and only take out what you need, as needed. Otherwise, an opened package of cheese will only last about a week in the fridge, depending upon how you store it. If you plan to use the cheese in a dish where the cheese will be melted, such as in burritos, or as a topping, you don’t even need to thaw it first.

Fresh herbs: This is a trick I had forgotten about until a friend recently reminded me. Fresh herbs last a nanosecond, but you don’t have to throw away leftovers. Tear fresh herbs into small pieces, place a few bits in the bottom of each square of an empty ice cube tray, fill with water, and freeze. When you want to use them, toss the ice cubes directly into the dish you are cooking. The ice melts, the water evaporates, and the herbs do delightful things to your meal.

Fruit juice: Do the ice cube tray trick with fruit juice. Fruit juice ice cubes are surprisingly useful.

Panko: If you like to use bread crumbs, you may already know about Panko, which is a more coarse grind, so whatever you coat with Panko tends to come out crispier than bread crumbs. You may have to add seasoning, though, as you may find them bland. Store them in an airtight container, and use as needed, no thawing required.

Tortillas, flour, corn or veggie wraps: Most tortillas are packaged in resealable bags, which can be tossed into the freezer as is. Store them flat, and they will be easier to separate when frozen so that you can just thaw what you need. Gallon sized freezer bags are great for resealing and storing leftovers.

Stuff that’s really cheap you can combine with other ingredients to stretch a meal:

Mashed potato flakes: Can be used to thicken a soup or stew, coat chicken or meat for baking or frying, or add milk, water, cheese, and bacon bits and other ingredients to make loaded mashed potatoes.

Bread crumbs: Whether used plain or blended with Parmesan cheese, herbs, and spices, adding bread crumbs can transform boring fish or even veggies such as eggplant into crunchy goodness.

Corn Flakes: Out of Panko or bread crumbs? Use Corn Flakes. Yes, the cereal. No, I’m not kidding.

Crackers, such as saltines, oyster, or even matzo: There are endless uses for crackers, including bulking up ground beef for burgers or meat loaf, binding together other ingredients, and used in place of bread.

Pasta, including the old standby, ramen noodles: It’s pasta. Enough said.

Frozen hash browns: Unless you bought the kind seasoned with onion and green peppers, they’re just shredded potatoes, and can be used to add filler to soups, stews, casseroles, and so on. You can make potato pancakes or fritters, and then there’s, you know, breakfast.

Pie crusts: Keep some plain frozen pie crusts in your freezer. At the end of your grocery buying cycle, you may have a plethora of ingredients in your fridge leftover from several days of meals. Bake one pie crust and set aside. Throw together your leftovers with a little bit of liquid, and fold it all into the cooked pie crust. Bake. When almost heated through, pull it out of the oven, lay a thawed second pie crust over the top, and continue to bake until the top pie crust is golden brown. Easy way to make your own chicken pot pie, or “impossible pie,” and takes care of those leftovers without the guilt of throwing them away.

The 2:1 ratio:

You may have a package of rice or grains in your pantry that you’ve repackaged, and therefore may not have the original cooking instructions. For most grains, such as white rice, brown rice, basmati rice, buckwheat groats, also called Kasha, quinoa, millet, which is actually a seed, and others, the cooking directions are nearly the same. Bring 2 cups of water to a boil, add 1 cup of rice or grains, stir, bring back to a boil, cover, and then simmer on low heat for about 25 minutes. There may be slight variations to the cooking time, based upon your stovetop or cookware, but this is a general guideline.

There are lots of great books and web sites on food preparation, food storage, safety, and reuse. If you are looking for more substantive information on long-term food storage and disaster preparedness, I have a few to recommend. Just ask. Feel free to include your own tips or favorite resources in the comments below. We’ve got to keep our head together during this stressful time, and by extension, we must keep our families, communities, and societies in general together as well. In other words, we need to look out for one another as well as ourselves. The minute we abandon our neighbors is the minute we jeopardize our own well-being.

I’m rooting for you, precious humans.

LL

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Why marketing gurus might think I’m a chump, and other games marketers play

Published February 22, 2020 by L. Legendary

Ask any marketer about the fastest and best way to convert browsers into buyers, and they’ll say email marketing still reigns supreme. Believe me, when your livelihood depends upon building a following from which to build a customer base, with whom to build trust, on which to build a relationship, on which to build a business, that’s a lot of building. The extortionist, hostage-taking approach to social media doesn’t work for everyone, as the algorithms used by social platforms that enable you to build a following, only to require you to pay for the privilege of communicating with them, can quickly get expensive.

The attention span of these followers is seconds at best, so the most effective way to capture a potential customer’s attention and convert that interest into a sale is by enabling them to voluntarily express that interest in hearing from you in the place where they live…their email inbox. Pop! We interrupt this compelling, well-written, information-packed article with a request to submit your email address.

Growth hackers have advocated a myriad ingenious solutions for increasing sales via email marketing, and each involves extensive site visit behavior analysis. Where does a web site visitor go? How long do they stay? What do they do after they click this page, or that link, and what is their next move? The resulting tools available to track, trip, and trap these site visitors into your sales web utilize landing pages, gateways, squeeze pages, popups, exit popups, video popups, slide-in popups, popup lightboxes, embedded forms, social popups, info bars, two step opt-ins, user inactivity triggers, exit intent triggers, repetition control, page level targeting, sticky ribbons, and referral detection trackers that the marketing gurus would all but guarantee will take your email subscription list to the next level. One subscription technique even helps you lock a portion of your content on the website by hiding or blurring it, and it asks visitors to enter their email address to unlock the content. It’s all very transactional.

If you are a business owner, then you know the number one rule is, know your customer. I do. I know my customers, and one thing I know is that some of them are screen reader users. In most cases, the cutting-edge techniques mentioned above are a usability nightmare. Disrupted reading flow, screen reader focus switching, click-trapping with no discoverable exit or close button, and other navigational black holes are a fast track to alienating my potential customers. So, I use none of these. Does my email subscriber list cup runneth over? No. I value quality over quantity. Does that make me a marketing chump? The gurus might say so. The email capturing techniques mentioned above may be “proven,” but they do not respect customers with disabilities who may find the pop-ups or slide-ins confusing, as they clutter the screen, create a cognitive load for new site visitors, or impose a barrier for customers who may be in a hurry, and may even trigger some users who need to avoid sudden motion, strobes, or flashes.

Usability is a simple concept that is inclusive of everyone, and it doesn’t have to be a tough choice. You can make your email opt-inform simple, obvious, and easily discoverable. Playing games with your site visitors can inspire annoyance, frustration, and resentment, which can easily result in avoidance or cart abandonment. Most site visitors who find a barrier to entry, especially if they are motivated to purchase or learn more, seldom return to a web site they have determined to be inaccessible. Word of mouth marketing is arguably the most effective marketing of all, and word quickly spreads about a destination that is a time-waster. Even though I live in Las Vegas, manipulative marketing is a game I’m definitely not willing to play.

LL

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Don’t mind me, I’m just failing…I mean, learning

Published July 26, 2018 by L. Legendary

Hello, readers!

At the moment, I have a lot of balls in the air. I need to migrate from one shopping cart to another, change my FB page to a shopping page, integrate Instagram, create a shop on another platform,and undergo a major web site remodel. I’m using my blog site as the testing ground. That means that what you see at the moment may not last long, at least with respect to the blog look and feel.

Can, open. Worms, everywhere…

Even though it appears as though there is some sort of shop installed, I’m not selling anything. Not here, anyway. Just fooling around with plug-ins and themes and all manner of customizations. Pay me no mind. There’s nothing to see here, move along, move along.

I will continue to post blog content, but each time you come back, at least for a while, the place may look a bit different than it did the last time you stopped by. Thank you for your patience while I make a mess. Everybody learns differently, and I learn by experience, so I need to fail fast to learn fast, and the best way for me to do that is to quit researching and start doing.

More soon!

LL

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I’m sorry and other judgements

Published August 15, 2016 by L. Legendary

“I’m sorry,” is one of those phrases that can mean many things, and is often used as a catch-all for everything from, “what did you say?” when you misheard something, to “excuse me,” when you bump into someone, to “drop dead,” when you have been accused of something for which you should be apologetic, and are anything but. Seldom do the words “I’m sorry” express genuine contrition. Sometimes, the words “I’m sorry” are used as a way to pass a subtle judgement about the quality of our lives.

How many times have you needed to disclose your blindness in the context of facilitating assistance, only to hear: “Oh…I’m sorry.” For me, it’s been countless times. If, when explaining to a customer service representative over the phone that I cannot read them the product serial number because I am blind, they will respond with an embarrassed, “Oh, I’m sorry.” If I explain to the technical support person that I’m unable to click the green button at the bottom of the page because I cannot see the green button, I’m answered by, “Oh, I’m sorry.” When the counter clerk in a retail establishment, who hasn’t bothered to look at me when I ask for help finding something, waves a hand and says, “it’s over there,” and I must explain I need additional details because I’m blind, they will look up, and awkwardly mutter, “Oh, I’m sorry.”

Of course, some of these apologies may be a sincere mea culpa for inconsideration, but often I find it’s an automatic response from people who otherwise do not know what to say. When speaking to someone over the phone, for example, and getting the “I’m sorry” response after disclosing my blindness, I often say, “why are you sorry? How were you supposed to know I’m blind.” After all, it’s not as though they can see me, either. Why is an apology necessary? They are not clairvoyant. Apologizing in this context makes about as much sense as saying to a caller, “Oh, I’m sorry you’re six foot two.”

Then there are those who take it one step further, even when in person. When I ask, “why are you sorry?” some have actually responded by saying they were sorry I am blind. Or, they’ll say something like, “it’s just such a shame. You’re so pretty.” or, “it’s just such a shame. It must be awful. I feel sorry for you.” Or, they’ll resort to the inevitable stories of known others with my “affliction,” or they ply me with flattery for what amounts to misplaced inspiration and undeserved admiration.

In an effort to give most people the benefit of the doubt, I recognize that often there is no intent of harm, and in my experience, I think most people really want to do the right thing, they just don’t know how. On the days I feel like crowning myself the poster child for blindness, I gently and patiently educate. On the days when I’m feeling no such patience, I’ll pop off with something like, “I suggest you save your energy.”

As I have lived my entire life with vision loss, to a greater or lesser degree, thanks to the degenerative nature of Retinitis Pigmentosa, the words, “I’m sorry” in the context of blindness has, at times, felt more like a judgement than anything else. It is possible to be well-meaning, but demeaning. It’s another way of saying, “How can you live like that? I sure couldn’t. I’d rather be dead than disabled.” Whether it’s said in a flip and dismissive way, such as, “Whatever…it’s your drama, your trauma,” or it is said as a way to express true sorrow for my so-called plight, I am presumed to be living a substandard quality of life.

We assess judgements on others in many ways, and in many contexts. The disability community certainly doesn’t have the market cornered on prejudgement, the soft bigotry of low expectations, or edicts as to what we should or should not find acceptable.

Years ago, before mandatory vehicle shoulder harnesses and passenger air bags, Susan was in a devastating car wreck. She and some girlfriends were to go out for a celebratory evening, and the designated driver, who apparently decided earlier that night to abdicate her responsibility, was already impaired when she picked up Sue and her friends. Sue got into the car, unaware that the driver had already been bar-hopping. Under the influence of alcohol, and at speed, the driver lost control of the vehicle, left the road, and plowed into a building. Buckled up, and in the back seat, Susan, who was wearing a seat belt which was still considered optional back then, was partly ejected, but still held in by the lap belt that nearly tore her abdomen in half. Along with a broken back and neck, many other internal injuries that necessitated the removal of part of her intestine, Susan found herself in full body traction and a skull halo for many long months. “My God,” her hospital bedside visitors would marvel, “You’re lucky to be alive.”

“Lucky?” Susan recalled to me. “there were many days I didn’t feel so lucky. But it was drilled into me by almost everyone who saw me that I should feel grateful. There were days when I was in such excruciating pain that I did not feel grateful about much of anything.” Sue went on to tell me how much she resented the way many well-intentioned, but thoughtless people would attempt to dictate to her how she was supposed to feel. She should be grateful her husband didn’t leave her. She should be grateful her children had not been taken from her while she was incapacitated. She should be grateful it wasn’t worse.

Schooling someone as to how they should feel about something is tantamount to saying, you’ll eat it, and like it. Can you imagine going out to dinner, and the server judging you for not liking a menu item? The conversation might go something like this:

You: “Would it be possible to have green beans instead of broccoli?”

Server: “What? You don’t like broccoli? What’s the matter with you? This is the best broccoli on the planet.”

You: “No, really, I don’t care much for broccoli. I’d really appreciate it if I could have something else instead.”

Server: “Do you know how long it took to grow that broccoli? How hard we worked to make it for you? It’s good enough for everyone else. No one else has claimed they dislike it. What’s wrong with you that you don’t? Are you crazy? You’d rather have green beans? Isn’t that asking a bit much? I don’t have green beans to give you. Broccoli should be good enough, and if it isn’t, that’s just too bad. Do you think you’re something special, that you think you should have green beans? You have no right to want green beans. What do you think this is, the Ritz Carlton? People like you are never satisfied. let me list the innumerable things we’ve done to serve you this broccoli. You’ll eat the broccoli, and like it.”

Well,. I doubt that scene would ever play itself out for real, but it is not all that uncommmon in relationships. How many times have you been told that you can’t have what you want, because you ask for too much, want more than the other person can give, and should feel grateful for the way you are being treated, and if not, then there is either something wrong with you, or that you shouldn’t want what you want? Look at all the other person has done for you. You should be satisfied with how things are, good enough should be good enough. After all, are yu sure you are really qualified to decide what constitutes a satisfying quality of life?

Who are you to decide? You are the only one who CAN decide. No one else has the right to judge what should be good enough for you. No one else has the right to dictate to you what you should be willing to accept, whether that’s the choice to use “ghetto” assistive technology, being treated as a priority, or a serving of green beans instead of broccoli.

Recently, I saw a news story about a lifelong relationship between two friends who met as young boys, a friendship that had lasted through trials and tribulations, including the accidental paralysis of one of the young men, who then spent his days using a wheelchair. The story lauded the non-disabled man as a hero for not only continuing the friendship, but for later becoming his disabled buddy’s caregiver. Why was it that the non-disabled friend was held up as the hero? Because he was making some sort of sacrifice? Because he wanted to remain friends, even though the guy’s wheelchair…what? Cramped his style? Why wasn’t there any mention of what the non-disabled friend was getting from the relationship? How do we know that the non-disabled friend wasn’t some kind of supreme ass hat who had no other friends, and it was the guy in the wheelchair who was the hero for being the only person in his life willing to put up with his crap? For that matter, why would the guy in the wheelchair be a hero, either? Why would one or the other, and not both, be a hero? Why not consider both men as heroes for being stellar humans?

Because there is an implied judgement that someone in a wheelchair lives a reduced quality of life, and anyone who is non-disabled, who extends a friendship, or provides care, is doing them a favor. After all, who would willingly compromise the awesomeness that is able–bodied life, complete with better quality, able-bodied friends, unless they were magnanimous and self-sacrificing? Ridiculous. For all we know, it was a paid gig. But the audience is left ignorant, manipulated by the producers who were really working that hero angle hard.

There are certain responses that I can always count on when interacting with most non-disabled people. Some are borne out of curiosity: “So, have you always been this way?” Others stem from a desire to find commmon ground: “My sister-in-law has a co-worker who has a cousin who knows a blind guy.” Still others are offensive, in an effort to be ingratiating: “Hey, would it be okay if I told you a joke? A blind guy and a dog walked into a bar…” Hint: If you have to ask if it’s okay, it probably isn’t. Of all of these not so endearing, tried-andtrue conversations starters, one of my least favorites is, “I’m sorry,” because I’m sorry, and other judgements, place me in an imaginary hierarchy on which I do not belong.

Once, when interacting with someone who uttered the inevitable “I’m sorry,” after learning I am blind, I responded with, “that’s all right. I’m sorry you’re a brunette.” There was a few long seconds of silence, then she said, “I’m not a brunette.” “Oh,” I said. “I’m sorry.”

I don’t think she got it.

LL

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The Value of Gratuitous Controversy

Published August 10, 2016 by L. Legendary

Based upon the barrage of upsetting, demoralizing, or downright horrifying news to which we are subjected these days, it is no wonder why some people avoid daily news. With the ubiquity of social media, and the insistence that we pay attention, by way of tech device alerts and notifications, a purposeful, thorough ignorance of all current events may be hard to achieve. Sometimes, it seems as though there is simply no good news anymore. Sometimes, it seems as though the entire world has collectively gone mad.

With the many ways in which we are confronted by calamitous events and other generally bad news, it is understandable that we might want to take refuge in a world of our own creation, where we are surrounded, even virtually, by friends and like-minded others, and that it would be disadvantageous to invite sources of negativity into that world. Yet, it seems like a losing battle to bar the virtual door of any and all aggravating things. So, I wonder, why is it that some people seem to revel in controversy, to deliberately agitate, irritate, or inflame?

While I cannot pretend to know the answer, I can only opine based upon my observations. There seems to be two types of people who incite controversy for controversy’s sake: Those who genuinely enjoy the sport of it, and those who pretend they don’t.

Shock jocks,, radio personalities, and editorial writers are paid to create controversy so as to attract an audience. Some of these media dwellers have openly claimed that, if they have not made everyone on every side of an issue angry, then they simply have not done their job. There are others, however, not bound by lucrative contracts with multinational media corporations, who engage in this practice for a far less enriching payoff. Some of these people are part of our own community.

Before I continue, I will digress long enough to acknowledge that everyone is entitled to their opinion, and it goes without saying that we are governed by our first amendment rights as to free speech. Say what you will, and let the chips fall where they may, as I am exercising my right to free speech here. What I question, sometimes, is the mind-set of those who seek to create controversy under the guise of “opening up a dialogue,” or, “inviting discussion,” or “information gathering.” I question the value of controversy for controversy’s sake.

I am acquainted with a small handful of people who genuinely enjoy putting a spin on the ball and then walking away. They love to sit back and watch the reaction they get, they welcome the opportunity to engage in heated exchanges where they relish any excuse to let fly savage retorts, vicious name-calling, or poisonous epithets. They hold most others in low regard, believing that others are mentally or philosophically inferior. Creating controversy flexes their rhetorical muscles. It maintains their intellectual superiority. It sharpens their edge. They are validation-addicted adrenaline junkies who find satisfaction in knowing they have the power to elicit reactions in others. It’s a twisted version of a Pavlovian type conditioned response to stimulus, where the antagonistic “scientist” rings a bell, the audience “rats” repeatedly depress the lever, but it is the scientist who gets the reward pellet.

The question I find myself asking, when I become aware of such an instance, which seems almost constantly, is, “is this really necessary?”

Again, let me reiterate, because some of you may be thinking that I am veering dangerously close to advocating for forfeiture of our right to express an opinion, that there is a difference between the soliciting of alternate views with the desire for rational social discourse, and stirring up trouble for one’s own amusement.

Some of the weightiest issues debated upon by our founding fathers were done so with infinite regard for opposing views, butt with no less passion. In reading some of the writings of our nation’s builders, I have found myself in awe of the inner turmoil, moral conflict, and penetrating consideration paid to the most profound of human experiences, that of freedom and self-determination. Yet I couldn’t help but be moved by the eloquence and artfulness with which the founders painted their perspectives on a canvas of conviction.

Here I go again, about to express my own opinion: We are either contributing to the well-being, education, or advancement of others, or we are poisoning the well. While I agree that there is a certain amount of interpretation as to when, if, or to what degree this occurs, I think it is generally recognizable when one is being gratuitously controversial, with no greater purpose other than to fan the embers of dissatisfaction. In my opinion, it is a conceit. It is self-important. In most cases, I find it unnecessary.

My name is Laura Legendary, and I approve this message.

LL

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Still passing notes after all these years: A love letter to my best friend

Published September 4, 2014 by L. Legendary

We met when I was just eleven, and he was twelve years old. He was sitting next to the window on the school bus that would be taking us on a school field trip to an ice skating rink. I sat down next to him, and asked his name. It was Dan. I excitedly told him that I used to ice skate when I was little, and that I wanted to be an Olympic ice skater when I grew up. He didn’t know how to skate, he said, he had never done it before. Proudly, I told him I would teach him, show him how to turn, and skate backwards, and everything.

Years later, Dan would tell me that he liked me because he liked the way I talked. “I liked the way you pronounced your ‘s’s,'” he said. “They were very…crisp. You talked like a grown-up.”

Dan has been my best friend ever since. There have been years when we were inseparable, and there have been years when we didn’t connect. There has never been another soul who has made me laugh as hard, as long, or as uncontrollably as Dan, and there has never been anyone less deserving of pancreatic cancer.

He was there for every first day of school. he was there at every lunch, every school assembly, every after school afternoon from 2:45 to 3:45, when we rehashed in gossipy, teenage detail on the phone about the day just concluded. When it turned out that my eye disease meant I would never drive, he drove me home from school in his green Honda Civic every day. He took me out on my first date, on my sixteenth birthday. When he couldn’t be there at various times over the years, he found a way to make his presence felt, like the day I moved from my lifelong home state to another, when an enormous box of housewarming gifts and supplies awaited my arrival, with a sign on it that read, “welcome home.” He flew two thousand miles and trekked through a forest trail of redwood trees, to stand with me on my wedding day. Then, he wrote me a letter after my husband passed away, less than six months later, a letter he had written for me as a journal on my wedding day, with all of his observations about all the little details he knew I would have missed for being busy and distracted with wedding day events. He read the journal to me, over the phone, and I recorded the call.

If a more misfit, oddly precocious, ugly little duckling ever needed a best friend, it was me. It is truly stunning what fully accepting another human being for exactly who they are, and loving them just the same, can bring about in the life of another. Because of Dan, I took chances, I ventured forth. I learned the meaning of quiet generosity and climbed to a new altitude so as to gain a better perspective. Because of Dan, I learned how to make a place for myself in a world where I didn’t believe I belonged. I laughed. At nothing. At everything. At what he said, at what I said, at the notes we passed in class, at what we thought of every stupid little thing, that laugh that is so out of control you can’t breathe, can’t even make a sound. I am who I am today because Dan’s influence has been so powerful, I have aspired to be like him.

Dan lost his father to pancreatic cancer when we were just teenagers. Dan lived in terror of the day it would be his turn, his entire life since. When I got the call two years ago this coming thanksgiving that Dan had been diagnosed with the same cancer, I was haunted by all of the times over the years Dan had expressed this fear. But now, it’s different, I thought. Now, treatments are better, health care is so much more sophisticated, surely, there’s something…something.

One might think that this sort of news would bring about a closeness and renewed bond between lifelong best friends, but sadly, it has not come to pass. Dan has been unable to see me, to say goodbye. he has chosen to speak with me only on a handful of occasions since the diagnosis. the only explanation that I have been comforted by is that he is trying to protect me from the pain. I can only cling to that, because nothing else makes any sense at all.

Today, I got the news that Dan has been placed with hospice. He is nearing the end of a process that has robbed him of absolutely everything that makes life worth living. If he can be loved more, I surely cannot imagine how. He is surrounded by his family, his mother and his sister and his partner, and they have taken one grueling step after another, walking in faith, and with hope that the son will not retrace the steps of the father. I am writing this now in hopes that he will be read the words here, and that he will take my love with him tonight, and every night for the rest of his life. I’ll have his love, his laughter, his joy of life in me for the rest of mine.

I love you, Dan.

Your Joybird,
Laura

Author’s note: Dan passed away on Sunday, September 21st, 2014. The world has become dimmer today, as the irrepressible spirit of a beautiful human being has moved on. My condolences to Dan’s family, Fran, Teresa, Philip, and all those he loved and made laugh.

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Accessible Insights blog to take a hiatus. See you on the other side, precious humans.

Published April 7, 2014 by L. Legendary

Another year, another of life’s paths down which to wander. Some we choose to explore, some we abandon, some are chosen for us. It’s time for me to take a break, to regroup and catch my breath.

Until further notice, I will not be available online. I will not post any articles to the blog, nor will I post to the corresponding Twitter accounts. It seems that taking a tech break and living in the so-called real world of my immediate is the best way to soothe my restless spirit.

While I’m away, I will be thinking of you. Thank you to my loyal readers and Twitter followers. I will miss my friends, and I’ll be wishing you well. Thank you for your understanding. Thank you for being the ray of sunshine that lights my every day.

Sometimes, we have to return to the beginning of everything, turn our face to the sun, and sail far enough out into the waters so that we cannot see either horizon. That is where I will remain, ever your Laura.

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Gratefully yours, twice over, from the Accessible Insights Blog

Published November 28, 2013 by L. Legendary

Each year around this time, I like to take a minute to wish my readers a happy holiday, and this year, I get two for the price of one! Did you know that this year is a historical (an historical?) double-dip, in that Thanksgiving and Hanukkah occur simultaneously? It’s Thanksgivukkah! Check out this article: Why #Thanksgiving and #Hanukkah overlap this year t.co/J8nclRsjC8

Thank you for your continued support and readership, and have a safe and happy holiday, whatever you are celebrating.

Gratefully,

LL

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Anatomy of a Kickstarter project: Photo phobia

Published January 21, 2013 by L. Legendary

In the first article I posted on my painful climb to kickstart my business, Elegant Insights Braille Creations (www.elegantinsightsjewelry.com), using Kicstarter, I described some of the basics behind posting a project.  As of that article, I had not yet finished the video that is supposed to accompany the business or project profile.  I found the process of video creation to be one of the most painful things I’ve ever done, and in the end, I chickened out. 

Ideally, you are supposed to put your best face forward, blow your own horn, talk up your talents, put it all on display.  You should craft a video showcasing you and your project in a way that is so compelling, your viewers simply cannot resist throwing money in your direction.  after all, who wants to pledge money to a project that does little more than elicit a yawn?  So, you either have to be personality plus, or pitch an irresistible offer.  Some videos are very low production value, just a person sitting and talking about their project in front of their laptop webcam.  Other videos are mini multi-media productions that make one wonder why they need the money in the first place.  Despite my best efforts to be interesting, I succumbed to my fear of being in front of the camera and made my video all about the product.  all you’ll get of me is my voice doing the narration.  it’s quite the cringe-worthy commercial.  But everyone has to play to their strengths, and my otherwise long list does not include being a media maven.  All I can hope for is that my plea for pledges will be appealing enough, and by extension, distracting enough, that viewers will overlook the fact that my face is nowhere to be seen.  I actually think forcing myself to be in front of a camera could be detrimental in the end.  For the life of me, I cannot seem to come across as anything other than a kidnap victim in a ransom demand video.  If I look as though I wish I were anywhere else, how is that going to convince potential pledgers to "feel the passion"?

Uploaded it will be, as is.  In a world where no one seems to be camera-shy, and everyone seems to strive for pseudo-stardom, it’s clear to me I live in the social media celebrity-obssessive stone age.

 

You can read part 1 here: Anatomy of a Kickstarter project:  Preliminary examination

 

 

     

 

LL

 

 

 

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A shopping tip for your next mall crawl

Published December 31, 2012 by L. Legendary

At the risk of publishing a post that reads suspiciously like a "what I did over Christmas vacation" essay, I wanted to pass along a tip that you may find useful next time you need to make a trip to the local mall.  It may be too late to benefit you now, but I’ll repost this next year in an effort to help you find a way to accomplish your holiday shopping if you are blind and in need of a holiday mall crawl. 

This year, I was all but overwhelmed by the task of getting orders filled and shipped for my Elegant Insights customers, so I did not begin my own holiday shopping until the Friday before Christmas.  As a person who is normally highly organized and efficient when it comes to planning and executing dinners, travel, decorating, shopping and so on, I found my procrastination appalling.  this was one of those years where everything I had planned in the way of transportation and assistance went horribly awry.  Every attempt I had made to leave the house was thwarted, every one of my employees were unavailable, friends had left town, and the commitment I had made to my own customers took up all my time and attention.  So, last minute it would have to be. 

Since I have not been living in this town very long, and do not normally spend a great deal of time in my local mall anyway, I was quite unfamiliar with the mall and it’s layout.  I had a short list of stores I needed to find, but I had no idea where in the mall they were located.  if I could get someone to guide me to the stores, I thought, I could easily dash inside, ask for assistance and quickly move on.  I knew exactly what I needed to buy, and thought I could blast through my list in relatively short order.  I could get to the mall on my own no problem.  But what to do once inside?  Here’s an idea that may help you next time you find yourself in a bind with a task at hand and no sighted guide, friend or employee to assist you. 

I called the main mall number, and asked to speak to a manager or supervisor in Guest Services.  In my local mall, the Guest Services folks provide directions, sell gift bags and gift cards, and work with mall security to keep shoppers safe.  I explained that I am blind, and have a short list of purchases to make, and that I needed a sighted guide to escort me from store to store while I did some holiday shopping.  To my surprise, the person with whom I spoke said they have never been asked for assistance of this sort before.  "Really?"  I asked.  "Seems to me this would be a great service to provide your disabled clientele.  We need to shop, too, and we don’t always have someone available to help."  I offered a number of suggestions as to how this might be accomplished, given that a mall is a busy place, and understandably, there might not always be enough staff available to devote any one person to the task of being a personal shopper.  Still, I insisted, they might consider making such a service available once a month, or just at holiday times, as a way to encourage people who need some extra help to come to the mall and patronize local businesses. 

The management was extremely receptive and gracious, and agreed to assign me a security guard (lacking another available employee at the time) to guide me where I needed to go that day.  I raced inside each store, made my purchases, and moved on to the next retailer.  I was done in an hour. 

While I admit my timing could have been better with respect to approaching the mall management with the idea, they were helpful, sincere and understanding in their desire to assist.  A well-timed follow-up with the Guest Services and security staff might make possible a dialogue about ongoing services for people with disabilities to enjoy an accessible shopping experience. 

Yes, of course I could have done all my shopping online, which most of us do these days, but remember, I had waited until the last minute, so I was extremely grateful, and enthusiastic in my expressions of appreciation for those who went out of their way for me.  You should be, too, if you try this at your local mall.  Mine was packed with holiday shoppers, and I’m sure it was not the most convenient thing in the world for them to spare a security person just for me, on short notice.  Now that the holidays are over, give your own local mall a call and see what you can do to implement some sort of shopping assistance program.  Perhaps they might consider hiring a volunteer or two to be available periodically on assigned days to provide this service.  Or, maybe it would be more feasible only at holiday times.  It’s worth a try.

This wraps up my final post of 2012.  I hope all of my readers have the happiest, healthiest, and most abundant of new years, and I sincerely thank you for your comments, tweets, words of praise or encouragement, feedback and friendship this year.  I will work even harder to make this blog a place for you to find tips, tools, and camaraderie that will bring together a community of individuals in need of support and information.  Please feel free to use the accessible contact form on this page to contact me with any ideas you may have for future topic ideas.  if you would like to be interviewed for an upcoming event or promotional campaign, drop me a note.  if there is any way I may be of service to you, it would be my pleasure.  Simply reach out, and I’ll be there.

Warmest wishes,

LL

Laura Legendary
 

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